Life...

So life here in Virginia really hasn't been what I expected. I am always the one to say "you are in complete control of your happiness" and I never understood how someone could let the area they live in affect them but I do see now. I think I expected too much before coming here. I left a lot behind in California. A very easy life with my amazing group of friends. Yeah we dealt with deployments there but life was different. It's really hard being a military wife living in the civilian world. When you move base to base it's much easier. But when you make the decision to live off base, it's just not the same. At least for me it isn't. I live in a decent neighborhood...not what I would have chosen if I came and saw it firsthand but it's a home for us. The biggest downfall (besides the ridiculous neighborhood behind us) is that we are surrounded by civilians. Civilians who never come outside of their homes. When you live on a base you know you are bound to meet at least one or two of your neighbors because they all understand your life. You move from spot to spot and being the new person isn't always easy. Military wives (most of them) make you feel welcome. Not here...I have yet to meet any of our neighbors. Not by our choice but because they never come out. It's kind of sad. I'm used to walking outside and always seeing a friendly face and hearing a friendly hello. I have not had that for over a month now and it's finally starting to get to me. In about 9 months we will be putting in to move on base and I feel like these next 9 months are going to be the longest 9 months ever!! I am in my house majority of the time because of this neighborhood behind us. I don't feel comfortable going out and letting people see too much of my routine. The last time we were friendly with someone, they ran off with our jumper cables. GEEZ!! I just keep to myself now. I have no interest in getting involved with anyone around here. My kids don't have friends in the neighborhood like they did in 29 Palms and that hurts me. I feel so alone here. I would give anything to go back to 29 Palms. To go back to having someone to chat with while the kids played outside. Jason and I talk about how much we miss it. I think that when we get on base we will feel somewhat at home. I don't feel at home here in this house. I feel like it's just somewhere to wait out the next 9 months. Then the fact that Caitlyn has been diagnosed with Alopecia Areata has made things even harder. I know that her condition right now is nowhere near what some of the Alopecia patients are going thru but I worry that it may get to that point. I wonder how she will handle it and how I will handle it. It's like being here so far has done no good. I support my husband in every career and life decision he makes but I think we are both on the same page when I say we can't wait for these next 3 years to be up! Jason really enjoys his job and the people that he works with but is not a huge fan of Virginia, neither am I. It's beautiful here with all it's greenery and I think that's about all I like! I'll make the best with what's been given to me. I really can't complain because I do have a "home", somewhere to sleep at the end of everyday so I have to remember to be patient and be thankful. That doesn't mean that I don't wish our life here could be like our life in Cali.